The Cost of Happiness

I overheard an interesting conversation in a coffee shop a few days ago. A young (and seemingly immature) man, in his early twenties at the oldest, was having a discussion with a female friend about moving to New York City. I heard her say that she knows how happy it would make him to live there, but that she thinks he would really struggle with the extreme difference in cost of living. He didn't care to think of that, of course, because living in the big city was all he ever wanted.

Sure, money can't buy you love. Or happiness, for that matter. But sometimes it seems like money can get us the things we want, which will in turn make us happy.

Right now in my life, I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. I have a job that I enjoy immensely. I have a great apartment with a nice view. I can stop at Starbucks or Roebeks whenever and not feel guilty about spending $5 for a smoothie or coffee. I can go out to dinner and not worry about whether or not I'll be able to pay my rent for the month. But, I live in an area where the cost of living is fairly low, so I'm able to have nice things for myself.

Where would I live if I could pick any city without worrying about the cost of living? San Francisco. What car would I love to be driving? A Corvette Z06. Would I be broke? Most likely.

See, I'm too rational to be thinking about moving somewhere I couldn't afford. I like having a little bit of extra money to not only provide breathing room in my budget, but also to spend on doing fun things. Of course I would be happy living in SF, but the stress of being able to pay for everything could definitely affect that happiness. There would be so many things to do and cultural things to see, but would I be able to spend money there like I do in Akron? Is it too much of a risk to assume I'd be able to live out West? "Spend it like you've got it," is what my sister always says. But I don't want to be in debt for the rest of my life if I don't have to be!

I'm not the most spontaneous person you'll ever meet, to say the least. I couldn't just pick up and move everything I have to New York (like our young gentleman mentioned above) without having some sort of plan. Without having a job lined up. Without having a budget drawn up. Does that make me too cautious, too boring? Would I be happier if I moved where I wanted to now, even though my funds would be extremely tight?

One of the main reasons I moved back home from South Carolina was to be close to my family again. I couldn't have made a better decision, as the time with my mom & grandparents has proved to be invaluable. That's the other reason why I prefer to stay put for another couple of years before I would consider moving out of state again. I also tend to get comfortable in a place and usually feel anxiety over making big changes in my life. But, when I think of that, I think of a fortune from a cookie I saved and stuck to my refrigerator: You'll never discover new oceans unless you lose sight of the shore.

I met an interesting person on a work trip I was on back in September. He currently lives in Los Angeles, and lived in New York City for 15 years prior to moving to California. He seemed to have a life a lot of people would envy: a freelance writer for many major publications; has a different, new luxury vehicle every couple of weeks to drive around while he writes about it for his clients; travels all around the world for his job; lives in a small house up in the Hollywood Hills with his wife.

"Let me tell you though," he said to me, "it's so expensive to live in L.A., sometimes I feel like all I can really do is work. But I enjoy the idea of the lifestyle."

I get frustrated sometimes that money has so much control over how we are able to live our lives. I'm one of those people who thinks everyone deserves to be happy and live a comfortable life. I might assume by saying that it seems like everyone at some point wants something that is juuuust out of their reach, like buying that expensive car or living in an expensive city. For others, unfortunately, it could be having enough money to buy groceries or pay their electric bill.

It's difficult for me to come to a conclusion on this one. I work hard for what I have, but there is no doubt that the most direct cause of my happiness is everyone in my life who I love and who loves me. THAT you can't buy. For everything else, I can do what I want and what I can do. We're only here once, right?

I have a friend that always asks, "So are you going to move to California?" I usually reply, "Prooooobably. Someday. Maybe." And she'll always say, "Just do it." I guess sometimes we might as well throw rationality out the window and just do it. I was feeling particularly optimistic one day and said, "If I die tomorrow and have one penny left in my bank account, people will know I had fun the night before." Maybe if I hold back too much, I won't get very far. I'd imagine we all get reimbursed at the end anyway by being able to say, "Yep. That was a fun ride."