Post-Holiday PITAs

My mom asked me today how my evening at the mall went yesterday. When I told her I was kind of tired because I was at the Gap until midnight organizing socks, she just looked at me and laughed.

Truth be told, that was actually the best part of the night, because the rest of it was a holy living nightmare. And since I got some positive feedback from you all about the previous post bitching about idiotic shoppers, I figured I'd create a part II for your enjoyment.

It was my first night working after Christmas and I had no idea what I was walking into. I'm not even sure where to start. But let me tell you, the entire store was one huge fucking mess. I'm such an OCD, everything-has-to-be-perfect neat freak that sometimes I walk into work and want to fix all the messes immediately. And then I get overwhelmed because there are just messes everywhere. But last night, you can't even imagine the catastrophe I walked into, like a tornado of holiday shoppers came through and left behind wrinkled lumps of fabric in its wake. I looked around, trying to assess the damage and decide where I should start, but when I would start walking over to one mess, I'd see another and think that maybe I should start with that section and walk over to it, and it just became a vicious cycle of indecisiveness.

In addition to the mess, there were two other major factors: People coming in to return unwanted Christmas gifts, and people coming in to spend gift cards on the 50% off sale prices sale.

PITA #8 - "I Need to Return This." 90% of people who walked in the store last night were returning something. We hate returns, because they mean the company has to give money back to our amazing and courteous shoppers. By about the 10th return, I was just getting so annoyed by doing them that I got pissed and rolled my eyes everytime someone walked into the store carrying a Gap bag. There are two major sub-PITAs within the category of after-Christmas returns:

• SUB-PITA A - All the price tags are ripped or cut up because the gift giver didn't want the gift receiver to see that they bought the item when it was on clearance. OK, that's a little harsh, BUT STILL. Gap's price tags are conveniently perforated where the price is so you can just neatly remove that tiny part without even having to get a pair of scissors out. But the purchasers of the item still have to either rip off or cut one-half to three-quarters of the tag to make sure all evidence of the price is completely removed. What this means for us is that not only does the item become a 'go-back' (meaning we have to walk around the store until we find where that particular shirt is to put it back with the rest of them), but it also needs re-ticketed (meaning we have to look up the item number to find the current price, then print out a whole new ticket to tag it with). So basically, it creates double the work.
• SUB-PITA B - No one ever has a receipt. Not even a gift receipt. They think they're going to walk in with that sweater from grandma and walk out with some cash to buy alcohol with later, but it just doesn't work that way with the Gap. If you don't have a receipt, we have no idea what you or the person actually paid for the item. They could've paid $59.50 for a sweater, but if it's now on sale for $35.99, you're going to get $35.99, and you won't get it in cash. You'll get a check in the mail for the amount. Sorry, it's just the way Gap wants it, and I really wish you would stop getting bitchy with me about it because I just finished explaining the process to the person before you and they didn't like it either and I can't do shit to change anything about it.

PITA #9 -  Paranoid Price-Checkers Part II. Last evening, we had a special promotion going on where it was an additional 50% off sale prices. The sign outside the door and all up on the racks and tables looked similar to this (obviously the 25 was 50 in this case):

People really only read up until the word "everything," as if the words "on sale" don't even exist. Sale signs for most stores are similar, where the percentage off is the main focus, then in smaller print is says something like "on select styles." NO ONE ever sees that smaller print. And it's not even that small on the above example. You know what, let's just do sub-PITAs for this one, too.

• SUB-PITA A - "I Don't Want it Then." God dammit I have to ring everything up before you fools realize that the sale didn't include regular priced items. "Shouldn't everything be half off?" My brow gets all furrowed and I'm like, "It's only half off items that are already on sale." They look so confused and disappointed at the same time. "Oh, nevermind then." Sometimes I could even anticipate it, like this person looks like a young college student and she's picked up a sweater that's $44.50. No clue about the sale. And I only used that as an example because most college students are usually broke. I know I was, so don't go away mad.
• SUB-PITA B - "That Didn't Come Up 50% Off." Just fucking wait a minute! Sometimes when the sale is a special one-day promotion or the like, we're not going to go through every fucking item and mark it with a price that's 50% off what it was. That would take forever, and we'd have to go through everything and change it all back the next day, so just read the damn sign. There is a code at the register we enter that will take the additional discount off the total. I got so tired of telling people to calm the fuck down, it'll show up at the end, that I just started telling everyone off the bat that the total won't reflect the sale until I'm finished ringing up. That process worked so much better.

This kind of shit is why I just like to be left alone to fold stuff. It doesn't require any thought, I don't have people screaming at me and I don't have to explain anything to anyone. I was actually thrilled to be sorting socks at the end of the night because as soon as we can close the doors and lock the crazies out, we can actually start getting work done. And you can be sure this is the time when we all get together and complain about you assholes and laugh sarcastically about how this was probably your first time in a mall. Deep down, we really do love you, though, our Gap shoppers, because without you, folding shirts and organizing socks at the end of the night just wouldn't be as fun. Keep it real.