Sad Songs Say So Much

Sometimes I like to think that what I record here in this little box is like writing a message on a piece of paper, putting it in a bottle and throwing it into the ocean, never knowing if it will ever surface. But every now and then I'm bound to take a risk with what I confess to the internets; it's the reason I started writing a blog in the first place -- to get thoughts out in the open, no matter how uncommon.

With that being said, I have something to tell you. It's been a while, but today I just had to sit down and cry for a moment. It was the strangest thing -- all of a sudden I felt my eyes swell and tears well up, threatening to fall and smear the mascara I had just put on. I was unaware this emotion was about to attack; I have previously refused to let it surface. But today I had to face it; I temporarily lost control of whatever I had been using to suppress it.

My heart has grown increasingly heavy over the past couple of weeks, riddled with an unexpected sadness I've unconsciously let take over. It should be justifiable that I feel a little lonely; it's as if a piece of me has been unwillingly snatched away while I stood by watching, my weak grasp unable to hold it with me any longer. I knew this day would come, goddammit, I just didn't know it would hurt so much. I didn't know I would miss you so much.

Today's Blog Challenge Entry: A Song to Match Your Mood

Missy Higgins
Where I Stood

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cause I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cause she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do